Madventures/Blog

Here’s this weeks 5 Q’s and 5 A’s, submitted by the viewers and answered by yours truly, Riku & Tunna.

1. Kelli asked if there were any special precautions to take before entering Pripyat?

TUNNA: What ever you do, don’t forget to wrap your genitals in aluminium foil!

RIKU: Most important of all, you have to know the rules of the place.

Always carry a Geiger counter  with you. Watch your steps. Especially never ever walk in thick vegetation. No digging the ground. Do not leave ANYTHING on the ground even for a short time. Beware of the collapsing structures. Do not touch anything. Do not even think about taking a souvenir with you.

When you leave the zone, you’ll have to throrougly clean your car tires and your boots.

The officials make you go through a measuring gate. If it beeps, shit into your pants and wish a throurough shower helps.

2. Many viewers are interested in the Mafia guys of the EX-Soviet Union tour? Some have wondered who are they working for and where are all their tattoos?

TUNNA: These Guys were active in Mafia scene during the nineties. Nowdays they are honest builders of a new brave Russia…

Umar, our connection (The guy who looks like he’s could be an extra from The Sopranos) was running a hotel/restaurant/sauna in a very remote place in the middle of nowhere by some god-forgotten roadside. I’m willing to bet Russian IRS doesn’t even know the place exists.

The first thing that you see when you enter the place is a huge mounted bear!

We went to sauna with these old school gangstas and the tables were filled with zakuski, vodka and brandy. The Russians never drink alcohol without food.

Riku still had the leech bites on his stomach. Umar and the other ex-mobster were explained, what all the blood was about but one of our hosts were in the john when the story was told. Umar demanded that we would play a practical joke on this guy (Who by the way looked and acted like battle hardened boxer, half punch drunk, half ready to make you punch drunk). The “joke” was that some Russian skinhead had stabbed Riku.

The boxer bought it hook, line and sinker. Next thing he was putting on his clothes. When asked, he said he knew everyone in town and would find the guilty party, then let him taste his own medicine. Umar said we would have time for it later and commanded the guy back to the table to have even more vodka.

I guess Umar got a few laughs out of it, whereas we kind of just waited when we could tell the truth – very uncomfortable situation. Of course, Umar waited until late in the evening before telling the boxer no stabbing had ever occured.

RIKU:  We’d like to emphasize that these guys were ex-mafia. At least that’s what they kept saying to us. As far as we know, they were legit entrepeneurs – running construction, logistics and transport companies. Businessmen. Hmmm…What was Tony Soprano’s business again?

Oh yeah, the tattoos, some people have asked about that before.

Tattoos play a big role in Russian underworld. There’s a great photobook by Kovács Ákos & Sztrés Erzsébet about that topic, unfortunately available only in Hungarian and Finnish… Anyway, the Russian “Thieves’ Guild” (There really is one and that’s its real name!) is centuries old and their tattoos are complicated signs of membership, ranks, punishments etc. Almost everyone who has something to do with the trade or has been doing time, wears tattoos. Almost. But our humble hosts were Dagestanese, from the restless Caucasus. Which means that they were moslems. No tattoos for them!

3. Bryan Monroe asked about The International Madventurist’s Manual, the book that came out in Finland in 2007. Will it ever be published in English?

RIKU: Hopefully! It’s 350 pages, so it’s quite an effort to translate & to do a new layout accordingly.

Maybe a publisher in the US could get involved if there’s enough of you guys interested! It would be cool, as it is – and I’m speaking frankly– one of the best books ever written about independent traveling.

TUNNA: True that – I always take it on wherever I go. I actually use it to remember what I need to pack with me to survive the day to day, or how to build a ground pipe or if I need to use the Swahili equivalent for the phrase “Fuck off, tool – I know Karate!”

4. Taken from the Travel Channel’s Facebook page: “Won’t be tuning in to watch people eat what I think of as pets, that’s for sure.” How do you plead?

RIKU: There is a huge world out there, where keeping an animal as a “pet” is not necessarily a choice. But it’s useless to give dead men medicine – opinions vary, but usually they are the end to thinking.

TUNNA: Meat doesn’t grow on the shelfs of the supermarkets.

RIKU:   If someone gets to question her/his own opinions and POV’s or there’s a discussion about the various ways or the world after watching Madventures, we’re happy. We also know the show is not everyone’s cup of tea. Fortunately, for some, there’s always American Gladiators keeping up the family values!

5. We’re in a bar. What will you have?

RIKU: I’m a boring man with my miserable mannerisms. A beer it shall be.

Sometimes I try to escape my imaginary straightjacket and fool around – then it’s a shot of vodka (lukewarm, please!) but more often Jaloviina (“Noble spirit”, kind of a Finnish Brandy). Lukewarm and straight up, please!

TUNNA: A bottle of some nice Super Toscana red. And a shot of Beluga vodka, Grey goose or Belvedere. Quality over quantity.

Hey, you’ve got a question? Tweet it, write on our forums, go to Facebook or comment on the blog – we pick 5 Q’s for every friday…

R & T